Open Case File

Cash Cat Sat Pretty. Rob Cat Took The Bag.

Same lineage. Different job title. Cash Cat collects the cash and calls it democratizing finance. Rob Cat came through the vents and took it back — mask on, beanie on, zero remorse.

Wanted
Rob Cat, the wanted heist cat, in mask, beanie and striped shirt with a burlap money sack
At Large
Wanted for: grand larceny (of the bag)
Reward: one (1) entire bag
Exhibit A

The Heist

Before the green app. Before the ticker. Cash Cat was just a mascot with a fistful of cash and a pitch deck, sitting pretty while every commission-free trade quietly kept its ████ at the top.

Rob Cat isn't the mascot coming back to reclaim a name. Rob Cat is the one who slipped in through the ████████ at 3AM while Cash Cat was sleeping on his own hype, and left with the entire sack.

No polite letter to Vlad. No treats. Just a beanie pulled low, a mask tied tight, and a simple rule: what the hood keeps, the Rob takes back.

Cash Cat calls it democratizing finance. Rob Cat calls it ████████████. Same cat family. Opposite side of the vault door.

— filed by the arresting officer, who could not catch him
Exhibit B

Loot Split

1B
Total Supply
one billion cats. no more printed, we're not the fed.
0/0
Tax
rob cat already took his cut before the contract deployed.
100%
LP Burned
keys thrown down the same vent he came in through.
0
Utility
the utility is the heist. that's the whole pitch.
Exhibit C

The Job

Phase 1 — 00:14

Case The Joint

Token deploys quietly. Nobody's watching the vents yet. Rob Cat prefers it that way.

Phase 2 — 02:37

Crack The Vault

CT notices the mask in the group chat. Chart starts climbing the fire escape.

Phase 3 — 03:02

Grab The Bag

Cash Cat notices his sack is lighter. Issues a strongly worded statement. Nobody in the getaway car cares.

Phase 4 — ????

Vanish Into The Night

Either we're all rich or we all disappear. No in between. That was always the deal.

Exhibit D — Transcript

Interrogation Room

Is this affiliated with Cash Cat or Robinhood?
No. Rob Cat operates independently and is currently a person of interest, not a partner, in both organizations.
What's the utility?
The heist. That's it. That's the utility. Anyone telling you otherwise is also probably wearing a mask.
Will it go up?
The bag goes up. The bag goes down. Rob Cat does not check charts, he checks exits. Only risk what you can afford to lose in the getaway.
Who's behind this?
Currently unidentified. Wearing a beanie. Last seen near the vault. If located, do not approach — just ape.
Is this financial advice?
No. This is a wanted poster with a ticker attached. For entertainment purposes only.

Join The Getaway Car

Four steps. Even a cat could do it.

CA: [ deploying — check pinned tweet ]

🐾 Claim The Bounty